Tell Me Where It Hurts

Photo by Damon Lam on Unsplash

“Show me.”

“Point to it.”

“Tell me.”

I could do none of that.

How do I point to my entire being?

My finger is not big enough.

How do I show you when I can’t rip my heart out of my chest?

How do I tell you when I can’t form words like I used to?

They’ve lost there once profound meaning.

All I can do is wonder and wait.

Wonder why these thoughts have to run through the cracks in my brain.

Wait while you move on effortlessly and I smile and say the right things but think all these twisted thoughts.

Wonder what it is that makes everyone I love leave.

Wait for the healing. And wait some more. My lesson must be patience.

Please.

Can I learn faster?

Never mind, I’ll take all the time I need.

I hope I never chase a boy who only shows me an ounce of affection.

Ever. Again.

I run after all the tall red flags with inviting smiles and sparkling eyes.

But in the end, I can’t make the red flag green.

Just like I can’t make the blue sky gold.